Service learning has broadened my horizons on so many levels. It improved me as a whole because I am less bias, I respect people no matter if they come from the richest of rich or the poorest of poor, and by being exposed to such diversity I appreciate everyone’s culture, socioeconomic status, religion and race so much more.
As a teacher you need to be open-minded and not judgemental, and this experience has made me just that. I can not openly say I am ready to step into a classroom alone and teach a lesson, because I have to overcome my insecurities such as public speaking; but I can say I am heading towards the right direction. Service learning in this school has brought out my emotions in such a positive way as a person because I can say that I have laughed, cried, gotten mad, joked around, and been strict with the students in the classroom.
These students brought out the “real” me by opening up to me and telling me about their home lives, who they have a crush on, what sports they like to play, what they want for Christmas, and one boy Micheal* even broke down and told me about the death of his father. I was extremely bias walking into this classroom on the first day, now I realize these students are just like me when I was in third grade, and just because they come from different socioeconomic backgrounds than I did, does not make them bad people.
What hit me on an emotional level was my fourth time at service learning, and I was assigned to work in the hallway with Micheal* on his writing activity. Micheal was writing a story on his father’s death, which I could tell was a sensitive topic for him. He told me step by step on how he watched his father abuse his mother one night, and then shortly after his father died from a heart attack. When he looked at me I was stunned and lost for words, but what was so overwhelming was when he told me, “Miss Ashley you are the first person I have ever told this to, and I am happy I did,” with a huge smile on his face. I will never forget Micheal’s* story, and in that moment I actually felt like a teacher.
This reminds me of Lisa Delpit’s The Silenced Dialogue: Power and Pedagogy in Educating Other People’s Children. It reminds me of her article because I built a strong connection with the students, which allowed them to feel comfortable around me. Also, I was willing to learn about their culture and backgrounds, which made it easier for them to express their feelings with me.
I am really glad to hear that you had a great teaching experience that help you get rid of some of your bias towards other people, but more importantly having Michael be able to talk to you in such an open manor. That says that you did something right during you stay at your school, and that you had an impact on someone else’s life. It must have been hard to deal with a student who just lost his father on top of the fact that he witnessed domestic abuse at home. That seems like one of the most traumatizing things that a boy could ever experience in his life.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the little things are what count the most and it seems like you were able to achieve that from your service learning. Those little bits of gossip and childish talk are signs of a trust that the student has with you that lessens the gap between you (the teacher) and him or her. From personal experience, the smaller the gap the more I will be willing to do for the teacher and the higher my dedication will be for the class.
I also wouldn’t worry much about public speaking either. Right now, it may seem like one of the worst things in the world, but the more practice you get the easier it will become. You just need to put yourself out there and put yourself at the level of your students. They appreciate that and find it funny when you mess-up, but it’s not always in a bad way. This may sound really weird coming out of my fingers (since I’m writing instead of talking) since I am not a teacher and we are both at the same level in our goal to becoming teachers, but I have done a lot of public speaking and I know how it feels to put yourself out there and play as if you have some authority on what you’re talking about. I’ve had to give speeches in front of huge crowds of peers, students, parents, school administration, politicians and all sorts of people and every time I get that sick feeling in my stomach. I don’t think that will ever go away. But after a while it gets easier to handle and you don’t mind messing up. What’s even better is when you talk in front of a small group of people in an informal structure (like a classroom). I used to give lessons to groups in the boy scouts and even though I was speaking in front of a group of twenty or more scouts, I did not feel one ounce of discomfort because I knew they knew me as a person and respected my authority. From what I said before about the trust in the relationship with your current student(s), I’m sure when you get your own classroom in which the students respect you as a person and a teacher and public speaking will become second nature and kind of fun to you.